i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
