why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
