My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
