i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
