i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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