Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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