I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
