I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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