Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
