WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
