I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
