He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize