Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
