shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
