Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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