We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
