In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
