playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
