what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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