We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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