I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize