my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
