So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
