Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize