maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
