we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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