Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As shirtless as possible
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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