I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
