Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Randomize
