i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
