It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
