Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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