hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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