She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
