what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
