Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
