I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
