Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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