Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
