Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
