u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
