If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
