Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize