i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
