Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
