I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
