"it" just moved
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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