Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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