her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
