it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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