Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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