mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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