I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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