genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
