ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize