i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
