Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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