playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
