apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
