another moral hangover. fuck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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