He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Gay?
German.
Pity.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
