so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
