Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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