No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He better not be in your backpack
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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