You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
