Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
