walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
