the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
